A week long absence of a new post already spells blog abandonment for some but what can I do? I’m so busy lately. Heck, the whole seminary is in steroids in preparation for the school opening. I’m not enrolling this year, (my superiors have other supposedly big plans for me) but still, preparations for that “Big Trip” wears me out. BTW, I lost weight avoiding foods that might hurt my kidneys. I’m now a proud 200-pounder. Aba, 5 lbs din yun! Ha! Anyhow…
Approval Ratings Board (composed of the unbiased representations of Brother Utoy, himself and me) chose the topic, Seven Capital Sins because… there’s no other thing to rate yet. Truth to tell, I took up Virtues in Theology but nothing prepared me to discuss the Sleazy Seven to you. Buti na lang, there’s always Wikipedia. hehehe…
Sin # I: Lust This sinful number is this generation’s best partner in trade and industries, by its ingenious marriage of business with (carnal) pleasure. Simply put, this means many stuffs were sold in the market simply because everyone wish to be porn stars nowadays. Lust is one of the top reasons why people are hooked on the Internet and one of the good reasons why some bloggers, to increase their traffic, used tags that are never subtle in selling sex: Scandals, Barely Legal, Live Webcam, Wet Chick, Bored Housewife, Naughty Schoolgirls…… or so I’ve gathered. Really, I have no idea if this is true. Utoy’s Approval Rating: truth to tell, what sounds lustier than sixty-uuhh… I’m giving it 90%
Sin #2: Gluttony Our authority for this sin is the Angelic Doctor of the Church, St. Thomas Aquinas when he listed no less than six ways of commiting gluttony (eating soon, eating eagerly, eating extravagantly, etc.). It is tad ironic that Pareng Tomas should have the temerity of lecturing us about overeating when he himself was, in fact, grossly obese. Umberto Eco’s novel, Name of the Rose, happily noted that at the time of St. Thomas’s death, it took five monks and a heavy equiptment supervisor to bring down the saint’s hefty corpse from his tower down to the mortuary.
Gluttony is best exemplified to our generation by an unlikely hero of our childhood, the messiest eater of our time, the blue carpet-skinned, wall-eyed Jim Henson creation, the venerable Cookie Monster. His obvious lack of restraint for unleavened bakery goods is so endearingly appalling, it’s almost a virtue in itself. Well, you must admit the single-mindedness and the purity of his intention when he sang in his signiture raspy voice and burpy satisfaction: “C is for cookie, that’s good enough for me! Hey!”
Pahibalo sa tanan, This is Brother Utoy’s personal favorite as he is known to befriend some people for their penchant for smorgasbord and for their capacity to pay for our tab during lunch dates. Cookie Monster happens to be in his list of the most influential people in his life. Utoy’s Approval Rating: if I give it a 100%, you’d say I’m biased so it gets 99%
Sin #3: Greed Known to some by its more pang-spellingbee monicker, Avarice, Greed should not be confused with gluttony. The former (or the latter?) has an exclusive contract with food consumption while the latter (or the former? My grammar sucks.) just refers to the more generic selfish accumulation of things other than food. Greed, a vice so well-observed in the present Philippine governance, is noted to be the number one inspiration for so many political aspirants and veterans of today. So inspiring was this vice that it has provided a regular fodder for the local media, eager to note the recent Who’s Who in the Philippine Graft and Corruption Almanac. Utoy’s Aproval Rating: 85% sana but it’s now down to 40% after we’ve taken out the systems loss.
Sin #4: Sloth While this sin may lack all the action, excitement and intrigue that go with other sins, sloth has the single honor of having a south american tree-loving mammal named after it (thak you, wikipedia!) We often understood this sin to mean excessive laziness when in fact, it originally refers to the restlessness of the spirit (acedia), or as a monk-friend once defined it, the noonday demon, a spirit so distracted that it roams around accomplishing nothing. personally, I’d call this the 5:00 AM demon, because really, whenever the alarm clock rings, there’s no other sin I’d rather indulge in than this low-key-but-definitely-a-baddie sin, sloth. Utoy’s Approval Rating: an effortless 70%
Sin #5: Envy Of the seven sins, envy is very fun to watch, second only to Lust, of course. In the name of envy, people try to outdo each other in everything and try to pull the other down that it has became a huge entertainment for all of us. It’s the stuff reality TVs and Network Wars were made of. Many people I know persevered in their jobs and became rich and successful not because of reading books by Stephen Covey but because they have to keep up with the Joneses. Who the heck are the Joneses anyway? Utoy’s Approval Rating: 85% Not high enough, compared to Gluttony, that creep.
Sin #6: Pride No, this sin has no reference to a pack of lions from the Serengeti, neither to that classic brand of washing machine detergent nor to any LGBT efforts like parades, speed dating and AIDS fundraisers. Rather, pride refers to every person’s blinded self-love, much synanymous to vanity, ayon na rin sa kwento ni Aling Wiki. The relationship between pride and vanity makes sense if the word is translated to cebuano: Pagkamagarbo. In our Virtues class in Theology, pride is the mother of all sins, an a very fertile mother to that. Virtually every sin can find its source on pride/vanity. No wonder, Lucifer, played Al Pacino in the movie, Devil’s Advocate, said in conclusion, “Vanity is my favorite sin.” Utoy’s Approval Rating: 89% but who believe these ratings anyway?
Sin #7: Wrath In Latin, wrath or anger is called Ira, which is a modern name for a lady. Which reminds me of this famous Shakespearian quote, “There’s no wrath greater than a woman scorned.” Whether there exists a scorned woman named Ira during Tito Bill Shakespeare’s generation, I really have no way of finding out. Now, people, there’s nothing worng of being angry. In fact, modern psychology finds it therapeutic to vent out one’s wrath since anger is a very natural emotion evoked by anyone. Except probably for Brad Pitt during the 90’s. In that ludicrously titled suspense-thriller movie, Se7en, my utol, Brad, in fits of wrath, shot Kevin Spacey in the head. Now, you ever wondered by this scene was done in wide angle? From what I heard, Brad couldn’t make himself look angry without looking pa-cute.
Naniwala ka naman. Gawa-gawa ko lang yan. Har! Anyway…. For the Philippine context, anger can be best witnessed in Jun Lozada’s blog, jlozada.com. Man, I’ve never read so many angry comments on my entire life! I guess this is how our generation express their anger: they blog them. Gone are the days when men go shirtless on streets, weilding a kitchen knife, shouting, “Lumabas kung sinong matapang diyan!” Thus, more gutter language is spilled rather than blood in the process. Utoy’s Approval Rating: 92%, you $&#%?!!
So there you go, the second approval rating. I still got time to do my laundry so bye for now and tune in again for the next Utoy’s Approval Ratings!
Filed under: Religion | Tagged: bible, fun, religious, scandal, struggle, theology | 15 Comments »