Mga Pangunahing Dahilan Kung Bakit Baduy Pero Bumebenta ang Otcho-Ocho

Patalastas muna.  Salamat kay Reynz sa kanyang suporta sa isang online patimpalak.   Pasensya na, Kamahalan at overaged na pala ang blog ko.  Gayunpaman, touched pa rin ako’t nakabilang ako sa original list mo.  Tenkyu po!üüü

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Tag ito.  Tag.  Ibig sabihin eh sarili ko na naman ang pag-uusapan dito sa post na ito.   Nyayksidudels…

Na-tag ako ni Heleinah (new spelling para cute) ng mga eight things.ü  Bakit eight at hindi ten, di ko alam. Siguro, natakot ang original na may pakana ng tag na ito na baka mapagod sa kakaisip ang mga future na mata-tag, medyo binabaan nya ang requirement.  8 things na lang instead of 10 things.  Hmmm… merciful!

Anyway, tama na ang dada.  Eto na ang Limang Eight Things About Me.  Continue reading

Oh meyn, top teyn!

May mga kakaibang pangyayaring nagaganap sa aking blog.  Una ay sa araw na ito lang ay nakatanggap ako ng 107 spams.  Siguro, normal lang ito sa ibang bloggers pero sa akin, wierd ito, kasi in a week, di sumosobra sa dalawa o tatlo lang ang spam comments na natatanggap ko.  Pangalawa, biglang nabago ang itsura ng blog ko.  Ang blog roll ko ay biglang lumitaw, not on the sidebar, but on the bottom of the page.  Hmmm… Na-virus kaya ang blog ko?

Pero hindi iyan ang tunay na mahalaga sa akin.  Ansaya-saya ko dahil may natanggap akong comment from HRH Reyna Elena the other day.  May surprise daw sya sa akin.  Syempre, kapag ang Reyna ang nagsabi sayo nyan, magkandarapa ka dapat, diba?  Yun nga ang ginawa ko at ito ang tumambad sa aking mga matang may vow of chastity  (salamat pala kay Darbz kasi ninenok ko sa site ng Exodians ang screen capture na ito): Continue reading

Animersheri ek-ek (with recipe!)

Tingnan mo nga naman.  Isang taon na ang blog ko!  Nakaraos din ang low-profile kong cyber-tahanan.  And to think, bobo ako tungkol sa computers at sa internet.  And to think, nabola lang naman ako ni Bluep na mag-blog.  And to think, gusto ko lang magka-outlet for writing.  And to think… and to think… uhhhmmm… think positive? Continue reading

Mga Datkomistas, na-BITAG!!!

Ang mala-Tulfong taytol ko ay dahil nakatanggap ako ng Award Tag galing kay Panaderos (na may bagong Avatar na ngayon).  Ayon sa kanya: 

Written mostly in the vernacular, [Bro.Utoy's Blog] is a very funny, informative, sometimes irreverent but often witty blog authored by a very intelligent and funny Filipino seminarian based in France.

honestscrap1Dahil nga nakapagbackflip ako sa tuwa’t dalawang beses niya akong tinawag na funny, sinikap kong magcomment sa blog ni Panaderos tungkol dito, pero dahil inglisan ang laban eh hayun at sablay-sablay ang grammar.  Kung gusto nyong pagtawanan ang aking balibalikong pagbabalarila sa ingles, hanapin nyo lang sa blog ni Panaderos, mga damuho kayo.  Pero seriously, sobrang ikinatuwa ko ito’t sa listahan ni Panaderos eh sekon oner ako!  Woohoo!  Salamat, salamat, Panaderos!  Pinapatawad kita kung di mo naisama ang mga katagang na gwapo, magandang lalake, at God’s gift to women upang ilarawan ako.  Di mo pa naman kasi ako sa personal o kahit sa pityurs lang so nauunawaan ko.

At dahil nga pala isa rin itong tag eh siyempre, may kaakibat itong mabibigat na utos: Continue reading

Me Ibidinsya Aku! Me Pruwiba Aku!

Meron akong natagpuang website na magpapatunay na maliligtas ako sa Fingery Fires of Hell dahil di ako matakaw kundi malibog lang. In fact, I have the extreme chances of going to Purgatory. Heto ang sabi ng website tungkol sa akin.

Continue reading

Ten questions you shouldn’t ask a seminarian 2: MAY KASAGUTAN!

Kanina lamang ay masigasig akong naghanap ng isang malinis, puti at walang bahid-dungis na bisirong tupa upang gawing katanggap-tanggap na susunuging handog sa aking Bluepanjeet shrine.  Ito ay sa kadahilanang dininig niya ang aking mataimtim na panalangin upang mapagkalooban ng isang maayus-ayos na header.  Mamayang gabi, habang naka-smiley pa ang buwan, Jupiter at Venus ay gagayak ako ng itim na salukbong, ilalatag ang aking kinatay na alay sa altar at sisilaban ito habang isinasagawa ko ang aking sagradong ritwal na binubuo ng isang interpretative song-and-dance number sa saliw ng mga inspirational hymns ni Willie Revillame.  Ang lahat ng iyan ay gagawin ko dahil nilubos ng kapatid kong ito ang aking kasiyahan na mabiyayaan ng isang bagong header.  Salamat, Bluep!  Da best ka talaga.ü

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Dahil napakaraming nagrequest (mga dalawa sila) at sadyang utu-uto ako, heto’t nagpasinaya akong muling ibalik ang “Things you shouldn’t ask a seminarian.”  Ito’y napapanahon sapagkat tulad ng inaasahan, dumadagsa na ang mga tambay ng seminaryo sa blogosphere.  At least eh nailista ko na dito kung anong mga pang-asar na tanong na maaaring i-flood ninyo sa comment box ng blogs nila.

Osya, heto na.  With answers na yan para di na maitanong pa.

Continue reading

Utoy Presents: “Who Is The Next Batibot Babe!!!”

Si Ate Sienna, si Ate Isay, si Ning-Ning at si Ging-Ging…

Bago pa man tayo naging manyak sa kakasilip sa panty ni Annie sa Shaider eh unang naging TV crushes natin ang mga pangalang ito.  Sila ang mga kababaihan ng Batibot na bagama’t di nagpakita ng pusod o di kaya’y nag-otso-otso ang balakang eh naging unang batayan ng bawat musmos na Pinoy ng isang ideal syota.   Sinong batang lalaki ang di nagselos kay Pong Pagong noong araw tuwing kakantahan, yayakapin at hahalikan siya ni Ate Sienna? (Akin sya, Pong, akin!!!)   O kaya’s sinong makakalimot sa mapanukso at parang laging dumadaing na tinig ni Irma Daldal?  O dili kaya’y sa mga bed scenes ni Ning-Ning at Ging-Ging (lagi kasing bago matulog ang mga eksena nila)?   O kaya’y sa mga paghimas ni Manang Bola sa kanyang… uhhhmmm… perlas na bilog?  Kaya’t bago nyo pa mahalata na wala nang maisulat na matino si Bro. Utoy kaya pati Batibot eh pinagdidiskitahan na, heto’t inihahandog niya ang…   THE NEXT BATIBOT BABE!!!

Heto ang Twist:  THE NEXT BATIBOT BABE is an online Beauty Contest.  I’ll give descriptions of each contestants and their respective question (na pinaghirapan ko pang hanapin sa Google).  Sasagutin mo lang ang questions nila( syempre yung answer, fit sa personality) and then at the end, sabihin kung sino ang panalo para sayo at bakit.

Ehemplo: Ate Sienna, the current Batibot Babe

Question for Ate Sienna:  What is the essence of a woman?

Sample Response of Ate Sienna:  It all depends on the time of the month, but whatever essence she has, it is all for world peace.  Thank you. 

My Choice:  Ate Sienna!!!! Bikos syi is damos byutipul gel in Batibot! Woohoo!

Diba, ang dali lang?üüü  BTW, di na kasali si ate Sienna kasi nanalo na sya bifor.

Heniwey, without further ado, Ladies and Gentlemen,  presenting the four finalists of The Next Batibot Babe 2008!

Finalist #1

Finalist #1

Our First Babibot Babe Finalist is Irma Daldal!  Irma stands 2 feet 11 inches from the waist (hanggang bewang lang kasi sya), she’s an aspiring indie actress,  she enjoys reading scripts and attending acting workshops and describes herself as spontaneous, fun-loving and cultured.  Irma has previously garnered the Best in Talent award with her dramatic manologue, Nang Malukring si Sisa.

Question for Irma:  Who is the most influential person in your life and why?

Irma’s Response:  **(please fill in your answer at the comment box)**

Finalist #2

Finalist #2

Our Second Batibot Babe Finalist is Ning-Ning!  The bedroom-voiced Ning-Ning stands 2 feet 8 inches.  She currently works as a callcenter agent at Libis, but nonetheless, finds time to bond with her kid sister after work (hence the bedscene in the morning).  Lingling enjoys hanging out at 7-Eleven and Ministop and collects boxes of Nissin’s Yakisoba and Marlboro lights.   Ning-Ning previosly  won this competition’s online voting for Miss Photogenic.

Question for Ning-Ning:  What do you expect to gain in joining the Next Batibot Babe and why?

Ning-Ning’s Response:  **(please fill in your answer at the commentbox)**

 

Finalist #3

Finalist #3

Our Third Batibot Babe Finalist is Ging-Ging!   At seventeen, GingGing is the youngest of the contestants and currently an AB MassCom Major at UST (sa school ko na lang para walang away).  With the height of 2 feet 5 inches, she enjoys Plurking, updating her Friendster account and swimming (by the floods of Recto).  She sees as her role models, her sister, Ning-Ning and of course, the current Binibining Pilipinas Universe, Miss Janina San Juan.  Ging-Ging has under her belt, the award Darling of the Press which was chosen by the members of the media earlier in the pageant.

Question for Ging-Ging: What is the biggest challenge to young people in the Philippines today?

Ging-Ging’s Response:  **(please fill in your answer at the comment box)**

 

Finalist #4

Finalist #4

Our Fourth and Last Batibot Babe Finalist is Manang Bola! Stands 2 feet  10 inches, Manang Bola, “Bebi” to her friends, currently works for a consultancy firm.  She is a firm believer of New Age, listens to Enya and collects Tarot cards and pearls.  Manang Bola won the Best in Long Gown for her Maria Clara ensemble.

 Question for Manang Bola:  If you can paint the future of this country, how would it look like and why?

Manang Bola’s Response:  **(please fill in your answer at the comment box)**

There you go, ladies and gentlemen, our finalists for the Next Batibot Babe!  Ngayon, sumagot na ng pinakabagay nyong byuti kontes na sagot at sabihin ang bet ninyo sa apat.  Dito ko ngayon makikita kung sino talaga ang sincere na nag-cocomment sa blog ko.  hehehe…  Boto na!!! 

RECAP OF THE NEXT BATIBOT BABE QUESTION

  • Finalist #1, Irma Daldal:  Who is the most influential person in your life and why?
  • Finalist #2, Ning-Ning:  What do you expect to gain in joining the Next Batibot Babe and why?
  • Finalist #3, Ging-Ging:  What is the biggest challenge to young people in the Philippines today?
  • Finalist #4, Manang Bola:  If you can paint the future of this country, how would it look like and why?

My Choice and Why:

Ten Questions You Shouldn’t Ask to a Seminarian

This is a quick post so bear with me kung nahalata mo sa grammar na minadali ko lang ito.

“We all know what curiosity can do to a cat.  But for me, I’d rather be a stinking dead cat than be a subject of some people’s curiosity.”  sabi ni Pong Pagong sa isang unaired episode ng Batibot (wag kang magulo. sabi talaga nya yan.)

May mga tao tayong nakikilala na sobrang curious.  Yung tipong Boy Abundia-inspired na agad ang mga questions sa buhay mo eh wala pa naman kayong isang minutong nagkakakilala.  Ang siste pa, parang nag-eexpect pa sila ng mga pang-beauty contest na sagot sa mga napakapersonal nilang tanong.  Example:  may benefactor ako na ang curiosity level eh pang-DemiGod.  Ang problema, hearing impaired sya kaya inuulit pa ng pamangkin niya ang lahat ng mga sagot ko, na karaniwan, ibang iba na ang meaning sa gusto kong sabihin. So ganito ang takbo ng usapan:

DemiGoddess of Hearloss:  Ayaw mo bang mag-asawa kaya ka nagpari?

Ako (sasagot na parang finalist ng Search for Ginoong Seminaryo 2008):   Inisip ko rin naman pong mag-asawa kaya lang pagpapari po talaga ang pinili ko para sa sarili ko.  Wala naman po akong masamang tinapay tungkol sa pag-aasawa.

DemiGoddess of Hearloss:  (Babaling sa pamangkin nya)  Ano raw?

Interpretative Pamangkin:  (Pasigaw na ibubulong kay DemiGoddess pero dinig na dinig ng sangtinakpan)  SABI NYA, GUSTO PA RIN RAW NYANG MAG-ASAWA!!!

Awkward moment talaga.  Parang gusto kong magtago sa ilalim ng bato kapag ganun.  Kaya naman, I made this list of ten questions na di dapat itanong sa seminarista lalo na kung di pa naman talaga kayo ganun ka-close (o kaya kahit na close pa kayo).

Here goes…

1.  Paano mo nalamang may vocation ka?  Alam mo, kaya namang sagutin yan ng isang seminarista kaya lang willing ka bang makinig maghapon?  Kung tipong nagkasalubong lang kayo sa mall o nagkasabay sa MRT eh wag  na wag namang itanong yan.

2. Nagka-girlfriend ka na ba bago ka pumasok?   Ito, Catch 22 ng seminarista.  Pag sinabi mong Hindi, iko-conclude nila na nabigo ka sa pag-ibig kaya ka nagseminaryo.  Kapag sinabi mong Oo, iko-conclude pa rin nilang bigo ka sa pag-ibig.  Walang lusot!  Ang nakakainis pa nito eh kapag humirit pa ng tanong na “Eh ngayon, may gelpren ka ba?”  Ipagpalagay na nating mayroon.  Mahabaging Birhen, alangan namang aminin ko sayo!  Sino ka ba?  Eh kung isumbong mo pa ako sa superior ko?

3.  May sex life ba ang seminarista at pari?  -Bakit, ikaw, may sex life ba?  kamusta naman?

4.  Paano mo narinig ang “call?”    Ito, out of ignorance na lang pero isa ito sa mga pinaka-common na tanong na natatanggap ko.  Gusto kong sagutin ng ganito:  Ah, basta nakatanggap na lang po ako ng text galing kay Papa Jesus na ang sabi: d2 na me, wer na u?.”  Utang na loob, wag itanong ang tanong na ito dahil hindi “naririnig” ang call literally.

5.  Sigurado ka na ba sa desisyon mo?  -  To the words of Kris A.:  Sure ka na ba? To this question, sasagot ang seminarista ng Oo pero most likely, hindi ang sagot kasi wala namang kasiguraduhan sa loob ng seminaryo.  Sigurado ka nga, pero kung ang seminaryo naman ang di sigurado sayo?

6.  Ako ba, pwede pang magpari/magmadre?   Ito ay katumbas ng girlie-question na “Do I look fat?” na talaga namang ang hirap sagutin. Gusto mong sabihin na hindi kasi hindi naman talaga, pero gusto mong sabihin na oo para di naman sya masaktan.

7.  Anong ginagawa ng mga pari kapag nalulungkot sila? – Malay ko sa kanila.  Di pa naman ako pari.

8.   Bro, kasalanan ba ang mag-masturbate?  Next question, please.

9.  Kelan ba ang ordination mo?  Ang seminarista, di yan nagbibilang ng taon kung kelan sya maoordain kasi sa totoo lang eh bibihira ang nakakapagdire-direcho ng pagseseminaryo:  may regencies, may napapalabas, may nagpapalit ng seminaryo, etc.  Ang buhay ng seminarista, walang kasiguruhan na ma-oordain kaya, pakiusap, wag itanong ang tanong na yan.

10.  Bakit lumabas ng seminaryo/pagpapari si Ganito Ganoon?  Aba’t ginawa pa akong tsismis mill!  Kung talagang curious ka kung anong nangyari kay Ganito Ganoon, sa kanya mo itanong!  Pero word of advice, tantanan nyo na ang isang ex-seminarian sa tanong na “Bakit ka lumabas?” dahil hindi ganun kasimple ang sagot, at pangalawa, nakakasakit yun ng loob.  Pramis.  Alam ko yan dahil naging ex-seminarian din ako.

 

At syempre, tulad ng nakagawian, ang stainglass windows of the day ay ito (dalawa para makabawi sa nalimutan ko last time):

Descent of the Holy Spirit

Descent of the Holy Spirit

Assumption of Mary

Assumption of Mary

Matatagpuan ang mga stainglass window na ito sa ibabaw ng entrance ng trancept ng L’Eglise St. Louis, na isa sa parokya ng aking congregasyon sa Place Félix Poulat, Grenoble, malapit sa stasyon ng tram.  Sa mga stainglass windows na ito’y ipinakikita ang kahalagan ni Maria sa buhay panalangin ng post-resurrection community ng mga apostoles.  Mahahalatang makabago ang istilo ng mga stainglass na ito sa kanyang dividing technique, sa stylized na angulo ng mga bubog at sa paggamit ng matitingkad at mala-cartoon na kulay.  At totoo nga, sapagkat sabi ng mga pari sa akin, bagama’t ang simbahan ay ipinagawa ng Dauphin ng France noong 1689 gamit ang classic French styled architecture, noong 1934 lang ginawa ang stainglass windows na ito.   Again, pwedeng i-click ang mga pictures ko para mas makita ng maayos ang blurredness nito.  May pagkasuplada nag mukha ni Mama Mary dito.  God bless!

Utoy’s Approval Ratings: Ten Plagues of Moses

I’ve been reviewing my bible from Genesis to Revelation and boy, am I now running out to ideas for countdowns!  Isa pa, some bloggers caught on with the idea of My Top Five so I thought I have to move on with a fresh gimmick.  And so… Readers, I bring you UTOY’S APPROVAL RATINGS!!!   How is it done?  Simple.  Given a topic, say Prophets in the Bible, I get to give grades to each candidates I choose, and depending on how I see them, some would get high grades while some, well, would just have to do better next time.   This way, I get to bash a candidate if he happens to fail my expectations.  Odiba, may katayan!  Ansaya! 

I find the Ten Plagues of Moses as a good place to start this rating thingy, kasi everyone who read their bibles, listened to their catechists (or Sunday School teacher) or at least watched the Prince of Egypt is familiar with them.  who’d forget Moses when he shouted in his deep stentorian voice: “Let my people go!”  So ano pa ang hinihintay natin?  Let’s rate ‘em!

According to their order of appearance in the bible, the Ten Plagues of Egypt!

bloodyPlague # 1: Turning Water into Blood.  This particular plague turned the Egyptian people into Englishmen.  Everyone goes to the bloody kitchen, stand by the bloody sink, open the bloody spigot and out comes whot?  Bloody ‘ell!  One can be very subjective with this plague because you see, as the saying goes, “One man’s poison, another man’s cure.”   While maybe the Egyptians are now cursing yet another dinuguan dinner, the curse may be a blessing to the Rosa Rosal and the Red Cross, to Fear Factor set designers and horror flick propsmen and most specially to Lestat and the whole vampire community.  Utoy’s Approval Rating: 85%

frogPlague #2:  Frogs.  Now this IS my idea of a plague: campy, fun and downright messy.  Plus, there’s no casualty here, only annoyance, where the Egyptians were croaked to submission by these harmless pond-dwellers. This particular punishment given to the Egyptian citizenry has the trappings of a Hollywood B movie, setting the tradition for the Attack of the Killer Tomatoes and The Blob:  The Invasion of the Mutant Frogs!!!  From the blood-soaked river of Nile emerges a murderous horde of viscous amphibians determined to dominate the entire Egypt!  See eyeliner-ed Egyptians and their mothers run for their lives as they try to elude the inevitable doom brought by… The Invasion of Mutant Frogs!!!  Utoy’s Approval Rating: 96%

nicknickPlague # 3:  Gnats  I had to google up what gnats really are, and it turned out they’re somewhat related to our native “niknik.”  Every carabao owner knows these creatures can really be pesky, tenaciously stalking the poor beast wherever he goes.  Still,  I just can’t believe a whole country can be humiliated by storming its people with puny “niknik.”  A simple fumigation from Mapecon could have solved the problem in no time.  Utoy’s Approval Rating: 65%

maskmanPlague # 4: Flies.  When I was 12, I get to read the book, The Amityville Horror, where at each chapter, as the fright and dread escalate, the number of flies on the page increases.   Since then, I tend to associate flies with evil.  They’re evil enough to do waltz on surface of a steaming feces then innocently land on your dinner, adding flavor and germs to the now-soiled chicken galantina.  Also, these disease-carrying insects are really the universal symbol for plague, something every culture would agree about.  Utoy’s Approval Rating: 92%

virusPlague # 5: Pestilence.  You might have thought by now, where have all the frogs from Plague # 2 gone?  Well, the old Testament happily noted that they all died and the whole Egypt stank.  Then came gnats and flies which we presumed to have feasted on rotting frogs before swarming on people.  This unavoidably lead to the fifth plague:  Pestilence.  It’s a motley mix of biblical Mad Cow Disease, Avian Flu and Foot-and-Mouth Disease that had done the livestock of pre-vaccination Egypt.   Wicked.  Utoy’s Approval Rating: 90%

boilsPlague # 6: Boils.  Locally known as pigsa, to be afflicted with boils is graphically translated in Pinoy Bible as “matadtad ng bukol na nagnanaknak.”   Wow.  Pinoy Bible, ladies and gentlemen.  A little trivia here.  It seems that the ingenious technology of “bote para paputukin ang pigsa” is not yet available not just to the pre-Christianity Egypt, but to the whole modern Europe as well.  The Philippine Inquirer recently ran a story how the Philippine entry to Cannes Film Festival, “Serbis” with its gratuitous sex and deliberate grittiness was hissed for showing a scene of popping a boil with a Coke bottle.  Apparently, that is just too gross for them.  But oral sex involving children isn’t.  Huh?  I can’t figure it out myself.   Utoy’s Approval Rating: 76%

fireworksPlague # 7: Feiry Hail.  The triumph of the human spirit against all adversities is best illustrated in film, not by My Left Foot, The Gridiron Gang, The Mighty Ducks series or any other movies involving paraplegics, nerds, misfits and underdog sports team, but rather by our all-time favorite, Armaggedon.  Why?  Because in the average human mind, the ultimate picture of disaster involves a rain of fire and brimstone.  And this disaster, believe me, can surely be remedied or shielded away by the US Government, or at least that’s what Hollywood said so.  Too bad for Egypt, it would take a few thousand more years before the United State of America be born.    Utoy’s Approval Rating: 97%

tipaklongPlague # 8: Locust.  Of all insect plagues, this one went with a bit of a wrong timing.  After the bloody water, the litter of dead frogs, pestilence on crops and livestock, various insect infestations, and the storm of fire and hail, I couldn’t imagine, for the life of me, what lifeform could have survived the ordeal.  There’s nothing left for the locusts to destroy!  I mean if these attacked after all the food source were devastated, the the few remaining Egyptians would have surely said, “Hey look, big fat grasshoppers!  Grab some for dinner!”  Not a plague.  Not a plague at all.  Utoy’s Approval Rating:  68%

darknessPlague # 9:  Darkness.  Someone is misbehaving in the house?  Send him to his room, turn his lights off and let’s just see if he won’t be back begging for forgiveness…  Come on, Moses!   Can’t anything be more infantile than this punishment?  This goes at the same level with No TV For Three Days and A Whack of Ruler on the Butt. Besides, when pretty much of everything is destroyed by flaming storms and swarms of pests, why not just stay at home, munch on some deep-fried locusts (they said it’s high in protein) and do what normal people do when it’s dark… like, uhhmmm, sleep.  Utoy’s Approval Rating: 60%

RIPPlague # 10:  Death of First-born.  This one puzzles me a lot.  I mean, did the angel of death first made a preliminary census survey to determine who is the first-born in the family or did they just knock at each household and ask?  Would the first born mean, that of the father alone, that of the mother alone or that of the couple?  Does it apply to how far a generation, like your grandpa’s first-born, your great grandpa’s first-born, etc…?  In cases of twins, would they die both or only the one who got out first?  If the first-born already died, does that mean the punishment is waived on his family to avoid double jeopardy?  Having said that, I think it’s cool that the Jews had ways for the angel of death pass over them:  mark your doorjambs with blood.  For some Jewish household who’s first-born might have been a sort of a jackass in the family, Daddy might have just conveniently forgotten about brushing bloody hyssop on the doorpost.  “Bye-bye, Junior. You’ll surely be missed!”   Utoy’s Approval Rating: 89%  

So there you go,  Bro. Utoy’s Approval Ratings.  The candidates may not necessarily be that many (can be as few as three) and the topic may not be purely biblical.  This will be a regular feature on my blog so if you think it sucks, well then, that’s how life goes.  Deal with it.

God bless!

While I’m still composing my next countdown…

My friend, an American priest from Cleveland, Ohio, e-mailed me this forwarded message just this morning.  It’s too poignantly hilarious to not to share.  (Or rather, it’s my weak substitute for the supposed next Top Five countdown which I kept postponing for a week now.  Bisibisihan eh!)  I highlighted a few ones I really liked.  Happy Solemn Feast of the Body and Blood of Christ, everyone!

 

As I’ve Matured…

 

I’ve learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in…

I’ve learned that one good turn gets most of the blankets.

I’ve learned that no matter how much I care, some people are just jackasses.

I’ve learned that it takes years to build up trust, and it only takes suspicion, not proof, to destroy it.

I’ve learned that whatever hits the fan will not be evenly distributed.

I’ve learned that you shouldn’t compare yourself to others – they are more screwed up than you think.

I’ve learned that depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

I’ve learned that it is not what you wear; it is how you take it off.

I’ve learned that you can keep vomiting long after you think you’re finished.

I’ve learned to not sweat the petty things, and not pet the sweaty things.

I’ve learned that ex’s are like fungus, they keep coming back.

I’ve learned age is a very high price to pay for maturity.

I’ve learned that I don’t suffer from insanity, I enjoy it.

I’ve learned that we are responsible for what we do, unless we are celebrities.

I’ve learned that artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

I’ve learned that 99% of the time when something isn’t working in your house, one of your kids did it

I’ve learned that there is a fine line between genius and insanity.

I’ve learned that the people you care most about in life are taken from you too soon and all the less important ones tends to linger a bit.   And the real pains in the ass are permanent.

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