Bro. Utoy’s Almost Porn

I thank all those who offered me their prayers and encouraging words.  I’ve nothing to give in return but my own humble prayers and some lame descriptives of biblical events.  Indeed, to all of you, I am very grateful.  I’m scheduled tomorrow for the IVP and for that they made me take five tablets of Dulcolax.  Hmmm…limang  Dulcolax.  Mine is going to be a fun night!

 

For Coy, tinamad na ako to compose a long reply.  Anyway, my message is pretty much the same as what I wrote below your comment on low-profile OT girls.  So there…

 

Back to this post.  Medyo parental guidance ito so if you’re below 18, you know the drill.  Ask your mom to read my post first so she can scorn it for you.  Anyway, eto na…

 

Novitiate is the time in the life of a seminarian in a religious congregation where he breaks his former patterns of life and develops a life of prayer and a healthy sense of spirituality.  There are many restrictions like there’s no TV, no phone, no internet, no techie gadgets, no ATM cards, etc.  But mind you, novitiate happens to be the most fun part of seminary life.  We learned many things there like the life of our founder, our Enneagram number ( I’m a withdrawn 3), various techniques in prayer and meditation (East and West), types of ikebana (!) and bonsais, all sorts of card games (pinochle, anyone?), and so on.   But for most of the time, we spend the day in quiet reflection, leaving me with lots and lots of time on my hands.  And this seminarian’s hands will eventually itch to do something exciting.  Something that matches the content of my equally idle and often fertile mind.  And so I did what every seminarian would do at night when he’s alone in his room and has this sense of urgency, this nagging need, this uncontrollable desire to, uhhmmm,  to pass time:  I, Bro. Utoy, like the rest of my brother seminarians, wrote poems.

 

I’m sharing you one poem I wrote during my novitiate years which speaks of my own struggle on chastity.  I found my inspiration on this poem from an illustration on Thomas Merton’s biography which shows his doodles of naked moustached women, drawn probably during his bored hours in the novitiate.  Never had I claimed to understand what Fr. Merton wanted to convey with his spirituality books, but with this particular drawing, I knew very well how he felt.

 

I intend to write a disclaimer on how seminarians make better priests when they’re in touch with their sexuality, so you won’t accuse me of being malibog.  But what the hoot, say anything you want.  I love this poem.  

 

 

On Merton’s Nudes

(a poem to recite when, at the seminary veranda, the sunset resembled a moist vulva)

Recite me a poem, Master,

that held in, like a wicker cage,

cirrus clouds at dusk, and copulation

-the scent, sweat, saliva and all-.

Just a roundabout koan

which I could cup on my palm,

a projection of my sex, possessing

pointless perfection of pink lotuses.

Allow me to chant it, distill

the desires to a drunken delirium,

pealing: the chakrah of my loins.

It shall be my vesper canticle,

where at the blunt joy of continence,

I’ll approach nirvanah

as empty as an untouched womb.

13 Responses

  1. nakoo!! almost porn rin ang ginawa ko. there must be something about this day.

    “sense of urgency, nagging need, sense of urgency..”

    in the words of our local teeny boppers who are starting to take on more mature roles (and the line never changes over the years..), “tasteful naman ang pagkakagawa; you know, for the sake of art.”

    i hope ok lang results ng pyelography mo bro utoy.
    🙂

    UM, alam mo, those X-ray films are my first x-rated pics! kita what’s beneath my undies… like my colon, my urinary system, my coccyx, my lower spinal column, etc….

  2. Pagaling ka Bro. Utoy…

    napadaan lang…🙂

  3. bawal ba ang below 18?? e di hindi ko na binasa…lols!
    ngayon pala ang ivp session mo…hope your ok!…kaya mo yan!
    we’re praying for u!….
    pagaling ka na bro..cge pag hindi ka pa nagpagaling baka sampung dulcolax na papainom sau..juk lang!=)

    hula ko rin na nene ka pa eh. sabi ko na nga ba…

  4. Bro Utoy naku kung tinuruan lang lahat tayo mag sulat ng mga poems katulad niyan eh siguro sobrang dami ng mga poems sa mundo. Di ba mas okay naman ata yon… sigurado ko din ay mas kaunti ang mga nakakadisgrasya at nadidisgrasya.

    I take my hat off to you guys in the seminary and those who finally pursue the vocation of priesthood. Ang hirap ng temptation but, with God’s grace, marami pa kayong mga poems na masusulat. Ang suggestion ko lang ay for you to compile your writings and publish a book… kikita pa ang congregation dahil sa inyong personal challenges on chastity… hehehe!

    By the way, I hope your medical procedure goes well… ang daming Dulcolax niyan ha.

    naku, bluep, nakapuno ako ng isang notebook ng poems! hehe… the procedure went well. it required around 8 films of x-ray. thanks for the prayers!

  5. gamot saan ang dulcolax?

    almost porn indeed, and yet that poem is great! romantic nga eh, with all those “pink lotuses”, the “vesper canticle” and the approaching nirvana & the “untouched womb”.. wow!.. oki nga eh.

    we know magaling ka na…”claim it, and you’ll have it”, diba…

    be good…😀

    I’m claiming it, MA. thanks and God bless!

  6. Bro Utoy, sensual as a fresh lumpia sauce. Or honey on hot pandesal from camote and calabasa. Sacred as a bee sipping a sampaguita nectar…Tapos Merton-inspired pa, mystic na dating palaboy at may iniwanang anak at babae bago nagkamulat. Full of candor and ambition to scale some spiritual heights. I suppose your poem is the reward of those with high-strung imaginations and restive souls. You don’t need to read Oriah Mountain Dreamer;baka mas lalong lang uminit ang iyong imahinasyon…But you can try to read her and test yourself…

    not an Erica Jong fan either. hehehe… medyo natatawa nga ako when I posted this kasi poesia erotica is so dated!
    “sensual as fresh lumpia sauce?” i sense a foodie presence here…

  7. elo, mangyan.

    ang dulcolax ay karaniwang pinaiinom sa mga taong magse-surgery or magpapa-ivp, isang gabi bago ang procedure. luma na kasi ang castor oil at ang labatiba.

    (nakialam na naman ako. )
    🙂

    very well explained, UMie!

  8. wahay.
    goodgirl ako.
    hindi ko po talaga binasa yaong poem.
    gustuhin ko man kaso hnd pa naman ako 18.
    kasalukuyang wala naman dito ang aking inang mader kaya hayun.
    wala talaga hindi ko binasa gaya na nga ng sinabi mo.

    sa mga sinabi mo doon sa itaas yaong intro, hindi ko nga ata kakayanin yaong buhay na walang net at tv.
    iyan lang kasi gawain ko sa buhay eh.

    wapak!

    dalawang taon lang namang walang TV at internet eh. carry mo yun!

  9. hehehh….mas malawak kasi ang imahinasyon kung walang ginagawa kaya tuloy napapasakamy nalang…lol

    balita ko nga sa ibang religious congregations, bine-bless pa ng holy water ang mga kamay ng seminarians after the night prayer. para raw kwan… uhmmm… para mas maganda ang poems na masulat nila.

  10. buti na lang kaka-18 ko lang. hehe

    thanks, kapatid! it’s good to know you’re doing your own top five as well. Keep it coming, kapatid!

  11. […] nude women on this painting reminds me so much of Merton’s nudes to which I made a homage on one of my posts. lumads of […]

  12. […] Ask a Seminarian (ito at ito) 10. Ang sarili kong brand ng poetry, including a poem about a wet vulva (five […]

  13. i shouldn’t have read this. argh.
    priesthood. *sighs*

    naguguluhan ako.

    :]

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