Utoy’s Approval Rating: The Seven Capital Sins

A week long absence of a new post already spells blog abandonment for some but what can I do?  I’m so busy lately.  Heck, the whole seminary is in steroids in preparation for the school opening.  I’m not enrolling this year, (my superiors have other supposedly big plans for me) but still, preparations for that “Big Trip” wears me out.  BTW, I lost weight avoiding foods that might hurt my kidneys.  I’m now a proud 200-pounder.  Aba, 5 lbs din yun!  Ha! Anyhow…

Approval Ratings Board (composed of the unbiased representations of Brother Utoy, himself and me) chose the topic, Seven Capital Sins because… there’s no other thing to rate yet.  Truth to tell, I took up Virtues in Theology but nothing prepared me to discuss the Sleazy Seven to you.  Buti na lang, there’s always Wikipedia.   hehehe…

Sin # I: Lust This sinful number is this generation’s best partner in trade and industries, by its ingenious marriage of business with (carnal) pleasure.  Simply put, this means many stuffs were sold in the market simply because everyone wish to be porn stars nowadays.  Lust is one of the top reasons why people are hooked on the Internet and one of the good reasons why some bloggers, to increase their traffic, used tags that are never subtle in selling sex: Scandals, Barely Legal, Live Webcam, Wet Chick, Bored Housewife, Naughty Schoolgirls…… or so I’ve gathered.   Really, I have no idea if this is true.   Utoy’s Approval Rating: truth to tell, what sounds lustier than sixty-uuhh… I’m giving it 90% 

Sin #2: Gluttony   Our authority for this sin is the Angelic Doctor of the Church, St. Thomas Aquinas when he listed no less than six ways of commiting gluttony  (eating soon, eating eagerly, eating extravagantly, etc.).  It is tad ironic that Pareng Tomas should have the temerity of lecturing us about overeating when he himself was, in fact, grossly obese.  Umberto Eco’s novel, Name of the Rose, happily noted that at the time of St. Thomas’s death, it took five monks and a heavy equiptment supervisor to bring down the saint’s hefty corpse from his tower down to the mortuary.

Gluttony is best exemplified to our generation by an unlikely hero of our childhood, the messiest eater of our time, the blue carpet-skinned, wall-eyed Jim Henson creation, the venerable Cookie Monster.  His obvious lack of restraint for unleavened bakery goods is so endearingly appalling, it’s almost a virtue in itself.  Well, you must admit the single-mindedness and the purity of his intention when he sang in his signiture raspy voice and burpy satisfaction:  “C is for cookie, that’s good enough for me! Hey!”

Pahibalo sa tanan, This is Brother Utoy’s personal favorite as he is known to befriend some people for their penchant for smorgasbord and for their capacity to pay for our tab during lunch dates.  Cookie Monster happens to be in his list of the most influential people in his life.   Utoy’s Approval Rating: if I give it a 100%, you’d say I’m biased so it gets 99%

Sin #3: Greed  Known to some by its more pang-spellingbee monicker, Avarice, Greed should not be confused with gluttony.  The former (or the latter?) has an exclusive contract with food consumption while the latter (or the former?  My grammar sucks.) just refers to the more generic  selfish accumulation of things other than food.   Greed, a vice so well-observed in the present Philippine governance, is noted to be the number one inspiration for so many political aspirants and veterans of today.  So inspiring was this vice that it has provided a regular fodder for the local media, eager to note the recent Who’s Who in the Philippine Graft and Corruption Almanac.  Utoy’s Aproval Rating: 85% sana but it’s now down to 40% after we’ve taken out the systems loss.

Sin #4: Sloth   While this sin may lack all the action, excitement and intrigue that go with other sins, sloth has the single honor of having a south american tree-loving mammal named after it  (thak you, wikipedia!)  We often understood this sin to mean excessive laziness when in fact, it originally refers to the restlessness of the spirit (acedia), or as a monk-friend once defined it, the noonday demon, a spirit so distracted that it roams around accomplishing nothing.   personally, I’d call this the 5:00 AM demon, because really, whenever the alarm clock rings, there’s no other sin I’d rather indulge in than this low-key-but-definitely-a-baddie sin, sloth.  Utoy’s Approval Rating: an effortless 70% 

Sin #5: Envy   Of the seven sins, envy is very fun to watch, second only to Lust, of course.  In the name of envy, people try to outdo each other in everything and try to pull the other down that it has became a huge entertainment for all of us.  It’s the stuff reality TVs and Network Wars were made of.  Many people I know persevered in their jobs and became rich and successful not because of reading books by Stephen Covey but because they have to keep up with the Joneses.  Who the heck are the Joneses anyway?  Utoy’s Approval Rating:  85%  Not high enough, compared to Gluttony, that creep.

Sin #6:  Pride  No, this sin has no reference to a pack of lions from the Serengeti, neither to that classic brand of washing machine detergent nor to any LGBT efforts like parades, speed dating and AIDS fundraisers.  Rather, pride refers to every person’s blinded self-love, much synanymous to vanity, ayon na rin sa kwento ni Aling Wiki.  The relationship between pride and vanity makes sense if the word is translated to cebuano:  Pagkamagarbo.  In our Virtues class in Theology, pride is the mother of all sins, an a very fertile mother to that.  Virtually every sin can find its source on pride/vanity.  No wonder, Lucifer, played Al Pacino in the movie, Devil’s Advocate, said in conclusion, “Vanity is my favorite sin.”  Utoy’s Approval Rating:  89% but who believe these ratings anyway?

Sin #7: Wrath  In Latin, wrath or anger is called Ira, which is a modern name for a lady.  Which reminds me of this famous Shakespearian quote, “There’s no wrath greater than a woman scorned.”  Whether there exists a scorned woman named Ira during Tito Bill Shakespeare’s generation, I really have no way of finding out.  Now, people, there’s nothing worng of being angry.  In fact, modern psychology finds it therapeutic to vent out one’s wrath since anger is a very natural emotion evoked by anyone.  Except probably for Brad Pitt during the 90’s.  In that ludicrously titled suspense-thriller movie, Se7en, my utol, Brad, in fits of wrath, shot Kevin Spacey in the head.  Now, you ever wondered by this scene was done in wide angle?  From what I heard, Brad couldn’t make himself look angry without looking pa-cute. 

Naniwala ka naman.  Gawa-gawa ko lang yan. Har! Anyway…. For the Philippine context, anger can be best witnessed in Jun Lozada’s blog, jlozada.com.  Man, I’ve never read so many angry comments on my entire life!  I guess this is how our generation express their anger: they blog them.  Gone are the days when men go shirtless on streets, weilding a kitchen knife, shouting, “Lumabas kung sinong matapang diyan!”  Thus, more gutter language is spilled rather than blood in the process.  Utoy’s Approval Rating: 92%, you $&#%?!!

So there you go, the second approval rating.   I still got time to do my laundry so bye for now and tune in again for the next Utoy’s Approval Ratings!

15 Responses

  1. Kapatid, thanks for sharing those tags ha… ganoon ba dapat ang ilagay ko sa Google para naman mas exciting ang pagi-Internet ko? Aminin mo na.

    Interesting yung sinulat mo tungkol kay St Thomas… ganoon ba siya ka laki ng namatay siya. How ironic that he even classified gluttony in 6 ways! Naku, talagang dapat ko ng palitaan ang eating habits ko… by the way, 200 lbs! Serious? Hindi halata sa mga litrato ni Bluep. So pareho pala tayong on diet mode ngayon. I also lost 5 lbs… although feeling ko dahil sa tubig lang yon… hehehe!

    uuhhmmm… nabasa ko lang yun. kay bluep. (mandamay ba raw?) kapag yun daw kasi ang ginamit mong tag, mas madalas ang hits mo. kaya lang that would be like prostituting the blogs, diba?
    keep on losing weight (the healthy way, syempre), kapatid, and God bless!

  2. i actually took an online quiz on the 7 capital sins, bro utoy. sloth, so it seems, will be the one that would do me in. ang sabi, i have 14% chance of going to hell when i die, and my death would be caused by ants, because i would be too lazy to shoo them off.

    ang lupit naman non. actually, i would rather die happy, so i guess babawasan ko na ang pagkatamad ko at kakalimutan ko nalang ang plano kong magpapayat.

    hehe..

    14% lang? e di, ibig sabihin nun eh 86% ang chance mo mapunta sa langit! not bad!
    sa writings ni Dante, purgatory lang ang bagsak ng mga tamad na tulad natin. ang punishment sa mga slothful eh tumakbo ng tumakbo at high speed. hmmm… sinasabi ko na nga ba’t parusa yang jogging at threadmill eh.

  3. ohweee!
    alam ko yang mga sins na yan!
    nimemorize ko yan nung hayskul!
    at mababasa rin sa book ni bob ong!

    happy dad’s day po sa tatay mo

    eloiski, kampon din ako ni bob ong. hehehe…

  4. Hay pride.

    pride kills.

    still, our favorite sin. hehehe…

  5. I agree with Leap of Faith…kakatakot napakadami ko ng kasalanan lalo na sa part ng Gluttony =(

    That was very insightful. Akala ko pag sobrang pagkain saka ka lang guilty doon, pati pala pag atat na sa pagkain kasama doon…

    That’s why I gotta lost a lot of weight kundi…=( patay hello diabetes!

    pero hula ko sayo, CCG, eh sexy ka. honest.

  6. this is something refreshing. it’s as if pinaalala mo sa akin ang Rel. Studies ko ng college.

    but I was a little touch with your previous entry “ang tatay ko, iyaken..” i don’t know pero madali akong matinag kapag ka pinag-uusapan ang mga ganitong experiences.

    thanks for dropping by!

    youre welcome, ponchong! God bless!

  7. I think gluttony is manifested when you are already full and yet you still gobble food as if there is no tomorrow.

    Our anorexic and bulimic sisters of today had their inspiration from the Romans wherein they eat everything to the extent of puking or binging all of it, then eating again.

    This is the reason why roman soldiers have decayed teeth because the acid from their stomach destroy their enamels because of the back flow due to binge-eating. yun ang alam kong gluttony hehe.

    Or If im wrong, I will probably go to hell.. you know what I mean.. eating is my first love pero nasa lugar. I can’t think of any reward for our hard work, any pleasure for our heartaches, and any relaxation for our stressful day than to eat…

    Noong una people are ascetic and austere because there is no stress during those days, except if you fought a dragon or have a witch for a stepmother, but today, stress is everywhere, and sometimes eating is the only coping mechanism left to shake off stress (syempre naman praying din pero I’m being practical and not spiritual). pag magiging ascetic ka pa (as in literally – medieval and benedictine) aba eh welcome cancer, welcome psychosomatic disorders, welcome ulcers at welcome psychosis! haha

    Actually I don’t even understand why Aquinas became a saint because he is quite thorny and grumpy. He was nicknamed Doctor Angelicus because of his wisdom and not because of his personality. John Duns Scotus is as brilliant as Thomas Aquinas but never became a saint. Yet he defined the most controversial dogma of all that not even Aquinas dared explain it in full clarity, the Immaculate Conception.

    point is, I disagree severely with Aquinas haha.. to some extent lang naman especially sa gluttony chenes nya hehe. Lalo na yung “eating eagerly” anu ba yun, should we all be melancholic, slow motion, and bitter when we eat? Heck, Israelites even celebrate the harvest of food… ewan ko, tamaan sana ako ng kidlat sa mga ideya ko, pero I don’t see anything wrong with enjoying your food, eagerly awaiting for your food, at eating your favorite food. It’s so different from cooking and ordering food that you can’t even consume. Now that I think is gluttony because Pope John XXIII said — “superfluity belongs to the poor…” and any excess food must be entirely given to those who need it.

    kaya yang mga jollibee, mcdo at mga fast food chain na yan, they are commiting gluttony when they cook numerous foods and then just dumping then on the trash at the end of the day when they are not sold. Imagine how many people are dying of hunger and they just throw it all away… to hell with quality food and service. aanhin mo ang damo kung patay na ang mga kabayo!

    haha nice post by the way. inangkin ko na naman blog mo.

    Pax et Bonum

    eto, kapatid, would you believe na bulimic ako? hehehe… sige na, maniwala ka na!
    as for Mang Tomas. one thing I know, whenever I enter the main building of UST, I can’t help but snicker whenever I read the inscriptions on this saint’s bust: SANCTO THOMAE. omehe ren kaya seya? LOL

  8. Ouch naman, Bro, tagos sa buto naman yung sinulat mo about using “catchy” phrases to increase blog traffic – in fairness, though, kahit mukhang “sexually-oriented” ang title ng blog ko, you still rated it as one of your “sunniest” blogs ever, di ba?😉 Hehehe! Tama bang magbuhat ng sariling bangko?

    Great that you’ve lost some weight – definitely helps not only the kidneys but in our general well-being too, right? I’ve managed to pare down a few pounds myself – tuloy-tuloy lang pagpapaka-healthy!

    Take care and God bless!

    but, pinky, your blog really is sunny!
    mukhang you and leap are really determined to look leaner and sexier ah. now who said, having children is a hindrance to a better health, you guys proved him wrong. and three kids at that!
    enjoy your vacation! God bless!

  9. haaay… brother… i am underweight (but not undernourished) and i do eat a lot… as in super uber busog to the max. while i want to say that it is gluttony, i have to defend myself in this case kasi nga underweight. (parang nag-eexplain ako kay mamang judge ah.)

    as for sloth…. what if restless lang kasi unable to do anything? so talagang magiging restless.

    and bakit nga ba pinapangalan sa babae ang mga bagyo at kasalanan like wrath? does this tell us the men should be afraid of women? wala lang… trip ko lang sabihin.

    let me spread my “wrath” too by commenting about jlozada… while it’s you are what you see, it’s also you are what you do… i have so many questions to ask him, not because that i believe in our government, but it’s because i think his motive is not sincere and it is jolted by greediness also… his own greediness..

    i want to comment also to what bluep just said about aquinas… lahat naman kasi are considered saints in the eyes of God.

    nakakainggit ka nga kasi you don’t gain weight. sana ako na lang. hehehe…
    as for women being the symbol of wrath, storms or evil, lumang kultura na kasi yan. anyway, ngayon naman, hindi na. si Ruffa at si Gretchen na lang talaga ang symbols of wrath. hehehe…
    and yep, all are saints and are made saints by God. kaya nga i’m making an altar for myself eh. joke lang! seriously, every one has his own unique path to but one goal, which is God.

  10. ayos! guilty ako sa lahat your honor except sa #1….haller I DON’T EVER WANT TO BE A PORN STAR!!

    hahahha…seriously, nice post bro. I was thinking, since you’re a seminarian, you’d give LUST a hundred percent.

    you.. dont want… to be… a porn star?!! why?!!

    hehehe… uy naman, ang mga seminarians, di lang naman lust-lust ang nasa isip. basketball din.

  11. ifoundme, i love aquinas.🙂

    tapsi, IFM, anong ibig sabihin nito?!!! hehehe…
    kidding aside, aquinas has his cool factor with him also. like alam nyo ba, he’s been banned by the Church during his lifetime and was accepted only fifty years after his death? plus, this hefty saint offers the best arguments for just about anything. astig sa debate!

  12. @IFM

    haha, censya na baka ma misconstrue nyo ako sa comment ko kay Aquinas, haha

    Im not against Aquinas, sabi ko nga to some extent. Heck, UST is my favorite University… I’m just spicing things up, medyo alam na namin ni kapatid utoy ang context ng mga palitan namin ng kurokuro lalo na yung sa taas hehe nagkakaintindihan kami dun.

    When you are debating something kasi in a seminarian’s point of you, its not always black or white, sometimes may gray areas din. For instance, should aquinas be a saint or not— rather, what are the reasons that could invalidate him from being a saint etc. etc. etc..

    hindi ko ibig sabihin na dapat di maging santo si Aquinas “per se”. Im just pulling a valid argument , errr inquiry hehe

    actually aquina’s work “summa theologica” was the stepping stone that Led Duns Scotus to a more clear definition of Immaculate Conception hehe Pero between Bl. Duns Scotus and Aquinas, I like the former the most hehe Pransiskano syempre. Pero Aquinas Rocks! sabay ganun haha

    Peace IFM haha

    manonood pa ako mga kapatid ng Incredible hulk sa sm LOL

    kaya naman pala eh, may bias ang Capuchino! hehehe… si Bonaventure, astigin rin. atsaka si anthony of padua kasi, kasi… hehehe… as for duns scotus, yung idea nya ng infinite universe is one of the coolest philosophies he proposed. aba’t parang pelikula ni Jet Li na One! sabi nga ni Eloiski, Wapak!

  13. hahaha! i didn’t expect bluep will come back and react. actually, mga kuya (yes, kayong 2 ni bro utoy and bluep), i am not trying to say that bluep is wrong or that i am taking sides with the aquinans… all i’m saying is that all are saints in the eyes of God if we will all follow Him. actually ang gusto kong sabihin is that walang nakakalamang kasi, although favorite people ng Diyos ang mga Israelites, we are still pantay pantay sa kay God.

    i haven’t much followed the life stories of all the saints kasi when our teacher back in high school attempted to discuss everything, i was bored kasi boring yung teacher mismo. hihihihi!

    as for favorite saint, i guess it’s still San Lorenzo Ruiz… bias no? hahaha!

    btw, brother, magkaron ka ng hyperthyroidism para di ka tataba at excused ka sa gluttony as a sin. LOL! just kidding!

    lam mo, IFM, i actually prayed for hypothyroidism. totoo! hehehe!!! btw, nag-aral ka ba sa ST. John’s?

  14. […] five at top ten (halimbawa’y ito, ito, ito, ito at ito at marami pang iba), mga ratings (ito at ito ang examples nun).  Nagpopost ang mga seminarian-bloggers ng mga holy pictures at mga songs ng […]

  15. bkit
    ang
    gulo?

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