Animersheri ek-ek (with recipe!)

Tingnan mo nga naman.  Isang taon na ang blog ko!  Nakaraos din ang low-profile kong cyber-tahanan.  And to think, bobo ako tungkol sa computers at sa internet.  And to think, nabola lang naman ako ni Bluep na mag-blog.  And to think, gusto ko lang magka-outlet for writing.  And to think… and to think… uhhhmmm… think positive? Continue reading

Isang Walang Kakwenta-kwentang Post na Hindi Dapat Pinag-aaksayahan ng Panahon ng Kahit na Sinuman

Nalalapit na ang paghuhukom sa blogroll ko.  Tatanggalin ko na ang mga tila yumao na’t di na muling magpaparamdam.  Gayunpaman, ako’y may iaalok na kaligtasan (you: may ganun?!!).  Ang sinomang magcomment sa post na ito ay mananatili sa blogroll ko, no questions asked.  So magcomment ka na kahit wala ka pang nababasa tutal, katulad nga ng sabi sa title, ito ay “Isang Walang Kakwenta-kwentang Post na Hindi Dapat Pag-aksayahan ng Panahon ng Kahit na Sinuman.”

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ang totoo eh wala akong kahilig-hilig sa tag.  Gayunpaman, di ko mahindian ang alindog requests nina byutipul Heleyna at ni cutie Eloiski na patusin ang tag na ito na pinamagatang Ten Random Things About Me.   Ang gusto pa nga nila eh magpost ako ng candid picture ko dito (isa ring tag yun) pero I care for my readers.  Ayokong may masamang mangyari sa inyo kapag nakita nyo ng hitsura ko tulad ng bangungot, empatso, pasma o pagkawala ng ganang kumain (wag naman sanang mangyari sa akin ito, Lord!).   Kung di ka interesado sa kabagut-bagot na buhay ni Kuya Utoy  eh dumeretso ka na sa comment portion and assure yourself of a place in my blogroll, pero kung likas kang tsismosa eh stay around and read.  Mahaba ito so humanda ka.

Ten Random Things About Me…   Game. Continue reading

Bintana Chronicles






(pasensya na, impromptu lang) Continue reading

No, it doesn’t rhyme at all.

No inspiration today.  The snow covered it all and I, cold and numb all over, couldn’t even drive myself to write.   I’ll write a poem muna.  I’ll try to write the usual post next time, promise.  Wala pa lang talaga ako sa mood.  God bless!

Seeing Myself at the Sideview Mirror

It is indeed strange to find ourselves

staring back at our own reflection,

our presence echoed by a shiny surface

that birthed a startled image,

pausing at an oddly-framed reality

we can easily recognize to be ouselves.

We relish at these fleeting portraits

of the candid quotidien,

keen to root out imperfections

by touching our  hair, adjusting a collar,

or pulling back our shoulders,

a two-second critique of a personhood

we thought we knew well, but don’t.


Pansinin nyo naman ang bago kong bubong!  Read the page above on the artist’s expalanation of my header.  God bless ulit!

Bro. Utoy’s Almost Porn

I thank all those who offered me their prayers and encouraging words.  I’ve nothing to give in return but my own humble prayers and some lame descriptives of biblical events.  Indeed, to all of you, I am very grateful.  I’m scheduled tomorrow for the IVP and for that they made me take five tablets of Dulcolax.  Hmmm…limang  Dulcolax.  Mine is going to be a fun night!


For Coy, tinamad na ako to compose a long reply.  Anyway, my message is pretty much the same as what I wrote below your comment on low-profile OT girls.  So there…


Back to this post.  Medyo parental guidance ito so if you’re below 18, you know the drill.  Ask your mom to read my post first so she can scorn it for you.  Anyway, eto na…


Novitiate is the time in the life of a seminarian in a religious congregation where he breaks his former patterns of life and develops a life of prayer and a healthy sense of spirituality.  There are many restrictions like there’s no TV, no phone, no internet, no techie gadgets, no ATM cards, etc.  But mind you, novitiate happens to be the most fun part of seminary life.  We learned many things there like the life of our founder, our Enneagram number ( I’m a withdrawn 3), various techniques in prayer and meditation (East and West), types of ikebana (!) and bonsais, all sorts of card games (pinochle, anyone?), and so on.   But for most of the time, we spend the day in quiet reflection, leaving me with lots and lots of time on my hands.  And this seminarian’s hands will eventually itch to do something exciting.  Something that matches the content of my equally idle and often fertile mind.  And so I did what every seminarian would do at night when he’s alone in his room and has this sense of urgency, this nagging need, this uncontrollable desire to, uhhmmm,  to pass time:  I, Bro. Utoy, like the rest of my brother seminarians, wrote poems.


I’m sharing you one poem I wrote during my novitiate years which speaks of my own struggle on chastity.  I found my inspiration on this poem from an illustration on Thomas Merton’s biography which shows his doodles of naked moustached women, drawn probably during his bored hours in the novitiate.  Never had I claimed to understand what Fr. Merton wanted to convey with his spirituality books, but with this particular drawing, I knew very well how he felt.


I intend to write a disclaimer on how seminarians make better priests when they’re in touch with their sexuality, so you won’t accuse me of being malibog.  But what the hoot, say anything you want.  I love this poem.  



On Merton’s Nudes

(a poem to recite when, at the seminary veranda, the sunset resembled a moist vulva)

Recite me a poem, Master,

that held in, like a wicker cage,

cirrus clouds at dusk, and copulation

-the scent, sweat, saliva and all-.

Just a roundabout koan

which I could cup on my palm,

a projection of my sex, possessing

pointless perfection of pink lotuses.

Allow me to chant it, distill

the desires to a drunken delirium,

pealing: the chakrah of my loins.

It shall be my vesper canticle,

where at the blunt joy of continence,

I’ll approach nirvanah

as empty as an untouched womb.